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Closet Romantic

May 15, 2009

Ya know what? I was in bed this morning blogging this in my head and it sounded so… well “said” with so many thoughts it was the perfect few paragraphs and now that I sit and type it, it is not turning out as “pretty” as it was in my head. Do things ever? This is romance and this is because of drama shows, soap operas, chick flicks, and chick books. I realize I am a closet romantic…I am coming clean and admitting it…

I, Jennifer believe in fate, karma, love, lust, friendship comes first, whirlwind romances, little things make the world go around and things happen for a reason. I believe where there is a will there is a way. I know deep down most of you do too. There is a difference in lust and love – sure…Lust is the passion that is the beginning and love comes when the passion is there with every other emotion melding together – well this is what I have learned or at least what I think. It’s being equal and on the same page and wanting to do things for the other person and not feeling as if you have too. A person should make you want to be a better person but again this is a two-way street don’t get sucked in to be the helper or enabler if it isn’t a two-way street – RUN. They should lift you up when you’re down and listen with both ears when you have something to say and actually hear you. Above all they should make you smile!

We all try to pretend we don’t “believe” because this makes us vulnerable but we have to put ourselves out “there” and god that sucks when it back fires in your face. What about the fantastic feelings of happiness when it isn’t back firing? Yes it is scary but when you feel good, you feel good and just smile and relish in the drunken happiness, butterfly feelings because there is nothing better in life as of now that I can compare it too. I am taking everyday with one step at a time mentality and I call this “baby steps” and not letting my mind get ahead of me (well not too far) and drowning myself in the what if’s….Not having my whole life planned out because life changes and you can’t always control it – enjoy each day – “Enjoy the little things and enjoy them entirely. It’s all we have sometimes “ (SS) Do what feels right and don’t half ass it. I don’t believe in doing things half ass as that would not be productive and if you can’t give it your all then it isn’t that important to you anyway and you should walk away. Don’t waste anything or anyone’s time….

Yes the season finale of Grey’s was last night and it can rip your heart out and you feel for these “characters” you understand what they say and you can relate. Ok maybe its just me…This is where I come clean of being a romantic and one of the mushy gushy people. I believe in the stars aligning and things do happen for a reason! Yes I have said it before but hindsight is always 20/20 but what’s that saying????? If you close one door someone always leaves a window open? I agree…

I am all over the map on this – see I told you it was better in my head – On Grey’s Meredith was saying (I cant find exact quotes – forgive me)…You only have so much time in life did you tell them you loved them? Did you hug them while you can? Life can pass so quickly and you think you have all the time in the world but things happen. This goes with my prior statement:
“Live life..Take Chances..Have no regrets..Jump..Be blind and hope someone holds your hand and guides you..Be willing to share..Be open..Be confident..Be real..Allow people to really know you the bullshit and all because if they can’t get that they will never get you…BE YOU…JUST BE”
(add on- new thoughts)
Let people in and tell them how you feel… Live life to the fullest…Don’t think you have forever to say something because you just don’t know…Life is shorter then you think.
And to quote Randy Pausch
“It’s not about how to achieve your dreams. It’s about how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you.”

Cocktail and Butterflies to you everyday!
Jenn

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